When I Knew by Robert Trachtenberg

When I Knew is a collection of anecdotes and stories from people about when they first discovered they were gay. Entertainers, writers, designers, as well as executives, politicians, and sports coaches are included. Put together by photographer and director Robert Tractenberg, some are one-page paragraphs, and others are a few pages long. Smart, hilarious, and poignant, they fall into the categories of When I Knew, When My Parents Knew, When Everyone Else Knew, and the occasional coming out story.

HBO has made a documentary of the book, and it's currently on Netflix.

Teacher Michael Frank says, "When I was ten, I would put on my mother's leather evening gloves—they came all the way up to my elbows. I would sing 'Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend' into the mirror. One day, my mother walked in and caught me mid-song—I tried to cover, screaming out, 'To the Bat Cave, Robin!'" Writer Kate Neilsen had her mother take her back several times to see The Sound of Music; her mother thought she wanted to be a nun, not be Christopher Plummer so she could be with a nun! The stories are varied and entertaining. It's nice to hear upbeat coming-out stories, a positive trend.

There is a time in childhood when you are naturally outgoing and express yourself without reservations. When you know you are different from other boys and girls, you often have to tone that down and appear interested in things your gender is interested in. When we are grown up, we celebrate people who are different, but it's often hard to be yourself when you are a kid. It gets better!

This will appeal to people who have a childlike light and enthusiasm. We should all encourage creativity and discovery in kids, knowing it's fun, fine, and natural to explore. Anything that encourages kids (and people) to offer their true selves should be encouraged.

I highly recommend When I Knew for a good laugh and a reminder of the unrestrained kid in all of us.

"To the Bat Cave, Robin!"

2005 / Paperback / 128 pages